Cancel the Season

DISCLAIMER: This column is satire. Anyone taking it literally should immediately cancel the season.

(LEXINGTON, KY.) – For those of us who love the Wildcats, it was fun while it lasted.

For eight glorious days, Kentucky basketball had everything. There was plenty of momentum, optimism, talent, and depth. Mark Pope had assembled a loaded roster, complete with Final Four expectations and perhaps even another national championship banner dangling somewhere off in the distance.

Then Mark Mitchell ruined everything.

He went back to Missouri.

Missouri.

I haven’t felt this betrayed since Rick Pitino put on a Louisville tie. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration—just a little embellishment on my part.

Just over a week ago, Mitchell was coming to Kentucky, and suddenly everything surrounding Mark Pope’s third season seemed to fall perfectly into place. Malachi Moreno was back. Milan Momcilovic was here. The roster was loaded. Pope was cooking. J. Batt was fighting the SEC. Greg Sankey was getting dragged into courtrooms.

Big Blue Nation had rediscovered its swagger.

And Mark Mitchell—the two-time All-SEC forward who averaged 18.3 points last season—was going to be the final piece.

Not merely a piece.

The piece.

At least that’s what we convinced ourselves because that’s what Kentucky fans do better than anybody.

Give us one five-star recruit, one transfer portal commitment, or one grainy summer practice video showing somebody hitting three consecutive jump shots, and we’ll have the championship parade route mapped out before dinner.

Mitchell was considerably more substantial than that. He gave Kentucky another proven scorer at the four position, another experienced body, and another legitimate SEC star. His commitment didn’t merely improve Kentucky’s roster. It changed the way we looked at the season.

Kentucky wasn’t merely going to be good anymore. Kentucky was going to be scary. Maybe even national championship scary.

Then Monday arrived, and we all heard the news. “Mark Mitchell is returning to Missouri.”

Excuse me?

I thought we had a deal. I thought the paperwork was signed. I thought the courts had spoken. I thought Greg Sankey had been defeated. I thought J. Batt had stormed Birmingham, planted a UK flag in the SEC offices, and returned to Lexington carrying Mitchell over his shoulder.

Apparently not.

Instead, Mitchell is returning to the same school he was supposedly leaving, and Kentucky is once again holding an empty roster spot and wondering what the heck just happened.

This is unacceptable. Someone must be blamed.

Mitchell? Sankey? The SEC presidents? The NCAA? The transfer portal? The judicial system? Mark Pope? Pope Leo? Missouri?

YES! Let’s blame Missouri.

It’s easier.

Missouri joined the SEC in 2012 and I’ve never completely understood why. They’re somewhere out there west of St. Louis, occasionally beating Kentucky in something and otherwise minding their own business.

Now they’ve stolen OUR power forward.

I move we revoke their conference membership—effective immediately.

And please don’t bother responding with any rational explanations. I know Mitchell’s situation became tangled in an absurd web of NCAA eligibility rules, court rulings, and SEC transfer restrictions. Returning to Missouri apparently provides him a cleaner path toward actually playing basketball this season.

That’s fine, but I don’t want rationality right now.

I WANT OUTRAGE!

Because eight days ago, Kentucky basketball had momentum. Real momentum.

Now?

Season over.

Don’t even play it. Cancel Big Blue Madness. Board up Rupp Arena. Tell the pep band to stay home. Return all season tickets. Turn the Craft Center into pickleball courts.

Aargh, Kentucky basketball has lost Mark Mitchell.

How can we possibly go on?

Of course, we will.

That’s the funniest part of this entire ridiculous episode. Kentucky had a really good basketball team before Mark Mitchell committed. Kentucky had a really good basketball team while Mark Mitchell was committed. And Kentucky still has a really good basketball team now that Mark Mitchell apparently has decided he’d rather spend another winter in Columbia, Missouri.

The Wildcats still have Moreno, Momcilovic, Zoom Diallo, Alex Wilkins, and Kam Williams. They still have plenty of talent. They still have legitimate reasons to believe this season could become something special.

But that’s tomorrow’s perspective.

Today, we mourn.

Eight unforgettable days.

August 22, 2026 — August 31, 2026.

Mark Mitchell’s Kentucky career.

Zero games.

Zero points.

Zero rebounds.

Zero turnovers.

And somehow, one of the most exhausting Wildcats I’ve ever covered.

Rest in peace.

We barely knew ya.

Dr. John Huang is a retired orthodontist, military veteran, and award-winning author. He currently serves as a columnist for Nolan Group Media and invites readers to follow him on social media @KYHuangs. His latest book is Whining for Posterity, available on Amazon.